A Convenient Lie

So basically this is a song that I started yesterday.  I was writing a little about how “stupid” our youth is.  What I mean by this is that we are given access to tons of information, and so we take advantage of that access.  In this way, the Internet is great.  It opens up doors of information.  However, the problem with this is we never look past the surface.  It’s like a kind of superficial intelligence.  SI.  We know a little about lots of subjects, enough to sound smart and to embellish our knowledge with our own imagination, but not enough to actually be of use.  In addition, we get used to isntant information.  We don’t read books anymore because we have to analyze them.  I am guilty of this too.  Anyway, here is the song lyrics.  Enjoy and speculate on their meaning.  The title of “Mr Gray” is still somewhat ambiguous to me, but I’m sure if this song became famous someone would find the “true meaning” behind it.  And then give that info to everyone else.  Instant accesss.  There we go again.

shying away from the things I have to do
lying my way through the wings I got from you
we are a youth of brilliance
but the truth is our resilience

we’re paper thin we crack like glass
we cut our skin get heart attacks
we dive on in we all jump back
commit sins, they’re in the past

rationalize, nationalize our feelings
justify, testify while kneeling

I am Mr. Gray
and we have missed our day
I am Mr. Gray
and we have lost our way

and we can’t stop
unless you kill us off

Scene Four(Next day)

(Enter Lady Capulet with a baby in her arms.  She faces the audience.)
Lady Capulet: This…this is my true child, the one I love, the one I adore.  He is mine, he is Tybalt’s…I shall raise him free of all these fools, in secret, away from my greedy, stupid husband.  He shall be just like Tybalt, and I will have my true love once again.  Ah, how I miss him so.  ‘twas all the fault of that Nurse and that Friar.  They shall be punished, punished for their actions.
(Enter Capulet.)
Capulet: You…you wanted to see me, my wife?
Lady Capulet: Ah, yes, dear, I just wanted to discuss this problem further with you.  Please, enjoy a glass of wine with me.  ‘tis freshly made, the best in the county.
Capulet: Why thank you, ‘tis red?
Lady Capulet: Of course, I know red ‘tis your favorite.  Please, drink.  See, it’s not poisoned!
(Lady Capulet drinks from her glass.)
Capulet: Ah, this is quite good!  There is something bitter about it, though, which detracts from the overall taste…do you know what this could be?
Lady Capulet: Know not do I…or perhaps I do.  Perhaps this bottle I hold in my hand is the cure to the poison you just drank.
(Capulet throws his glass to the ground.  It shatters.)
Capulet: You, you, you lying–
Lady Capulet: Please, no expletives.  Oh, and careful where you spill that wine, I just had my rug redone.
Capulet: I…I can feel the poison working its evil ways upon my body already.  My limbs, they feel numb.  I can’t move my fingers!
Lady Capulet: Yes, that was the intention, obviously.  To kill you, I mean.
Capulet: But…but why?
Lady Capulet: Soft has your heart gone, retired from its once rebellious ways.  Yet of course, never was it as valiant as that of my sweet Tybalt…
Capulet: Tybalt…that villain?  What part hath he to play in this?
(Lady Capulet stands up and pulls out a dagger.)
Lady Capulet: You shall not slander my lover’s name!
(She thrusts forward and stabs Capulet, who tumbles to the floor.)
Capulet: My wife, my wife…you have killed me.
Lady Capulet: There, there, now, rest your silent head upon the cushions of broken glass.  I want you to be in pain as you enter into the gates of hell.
(Enter servant through side-door.)
Servant: Lady, lady, is everything all right?  I heard a commotion!
(Servant looks down and sees Capulet’s body.)
Lady Capulet: ‘tis a pity I shall have to kill you now.  You were my favorite servant.
(She hurls the dagger at the servant, but it misses.  Servant pulls out his sword.)
Servant: I’ve had this suspicion for several days, milady, but now ‘tis proven.  I think thou art quite insane!
Lady Capulet: Quiet, fool!  Does thou darest draw your sword at me?
Servant: Yes, I do dare to draw my sword!  I must put an end to this all!
(Servant charges forward and stabs Lady Capulet.)
Lady Capulet: Tybalt, sweet Tybalt…Is that your face above me?  Kiss me one last time, Tybalt…I’m going to see you now…
(Lady Capulet dies.)
Servant: My god, what have I done?  Everyone ‘twill think ‘twas me that killed the two of them, and though that’s half right, I need it to be all wrong.  What was I thinking?
(Servant exits, dragging both bodies with him.  He returns after both bodies are gone and sees the baby lying on the ground.)
What are you doing here, little child?  How did you even come to be here?  I shall take care of you, don’t worry.  Now that is an idea!  I shall run away with you, child, and we’ll survive somewhere else.
(Servant exits with baby.)

Scene Five (Last Scene)

(Nurse enters, running, but stops when she sees Lady Montague and Montague facing her.  The two servants come up behind her.)

Nurse: Why do you pester me?  All I wanted ‘twas peace, friends!
Montague: And peace I would have given you, if you would have given it to us.
Lady Montague: I have nothing more to say to you, Nurse.
Nurse: Then why, why was my presence required?
Montague: I was going to propose a generous deal.  But no more, Nurse, no more.  You and the Friar disappoint me, especially him.  He always seemed like a good, honest, hard-working man.  You, I’m not so sure about.
Servant: What would you have me do with her, sir?
Montague: Kill her.
(Exit Montague and Lady Montague.)
Nurse: With those two words you destroy the love inside of me!  The Friar and I worked, we worked for peace!  Settle the ancient grudge!  It concerns you not!
Servant: Quiet, fool, he made his decision.  Your life is in our hands now.
(Nurse breaks free of the servants’ hold on her and runs after Montague.)
Nurse: If peace did not work to solve violence, then I shall use violence to use violence!  Montague, ‘tis time to end the incessant war!
(Nurse exits.  Several seconds later, there is a scream and a yell.  Nurse enters, limping and wounded.)
Servant: You fool, you killed them both!
Nurse: Aye, and they…they killed me.
(Enter two Capulet servants.)
Capulet servant: Everyone, everyone, the Capulets are dead!
Montague servant: Aye?  So are you the Montagues!
(The servants stare at each other, then shake hands.)
Nurse: May the peace reign over you all forever.
(Nurse dies.  Enter Prince.)
Prince: With the end of the hatred comes a new beginning, a new era
Now we can start anew, create new friendships, build from the ages of hurt
And ‘tis thanks to the Friar and the Nurse
They gave their lives
Now there is peace!

Scene Three

(Enter Nurse and the Friar.)

Nurse: Soon is the time we shall make our move, friend, for I think Lady Capulet has caught on to some aspect of our plans.
Friar: But how?  We have been so careful.
Nurse: She is insane, wracked with pain and guilt after the death of her lover and nephew Tybalt.  She has become paranoid in her old age and sorrow, and it is this that urges her to make assumptions about everyone around her.  It only stands to reason that one will be true.
Friar: I see…does she know of my part in the whole scheme?
Nurse: She suspects you, yes.  We fought briefly, and I fled, but watched from behind a window as she spoke to her servants.  She seems to be turning them against each other, and no longer does she even trust Capulet.
Friar: Yet Capulet is her husband!  She has to trust him!
Nurse: Aye, thou stole the words straight from the tip of my tongue!  But as he walked away from her, she whispered that she would have to kill him, dispose of him too.
Friar: This is much, much more serious than I thought.
Nurse: And ‘tis all because of a silly grudge that goes on for generations.  Do you know the story behind the Capulets and the Montagues?
Friar: Nay, but pray, tell me if you do.
Nurse: It all began long ago, on a cold winter day
Hard did the rain pour down from skies of melancholy gray
And ‘twixt the water did walk two people, two friends
They had no knowledge that their friendship was about to end
See, they both loved a girl, the same one in fact
And it was this love that made their bond crack
It all came down to a solid truth
When both were drinking some vermouth
In she walked, and both they turned
They looked at each other, and their anger churned
Chaos broke out, into a fight
And that is what, caused today’s plight
Friar: Ah, the story of our past
It’s strange how even love cannot last
How actually it is love, love that cast
Lights so dim upon our life
So odd how love, the bond that can’t be broken
Echoes the very words that we have spoken
That is causes everything to be unwoven
Nurse: Yes, yes, and yet the most curious of all
Is how love is so uncontrollable
Like a memory flitting through our subconscious mind
Like a thought on wings that we cannot catch
Love is like a dagger, double-edged indeed
Friar: Words truer have never been uttered, my friend.
Nurse: Ah, yes, my friend, and let love not come between us either.
Friar: ‘Tis too late, Nurse, I am stricken.
Nurse: As am I.
Friar: Ah, again, ‘tis too late, I fear, love has cast its spell, or shall I say its curse.
Nurse: But if it is too late to stop it, then worry shall only inhibit enjoyment.
I say, embrace it, love the love, love the dagger, love each other.
Friar: Aye, ‘tis easier said than done.  I have watched my charge fall in and out of love countless times, and each time is a harder fall.
Nurse: Last was the hardest of all.
(Footsteps are heard approaching.  The voice of a servant is heard offstage.)
Servant: You, Nurse, and you, Friar, the Montagues require your presence!
Nurse: Dear Friar, the Montagues, now?  Is there anywhere safe we can hide?
(Servant enters, along with three armed followers.)
Friar: Let us go, let us flee, let us vanish into the receding night
Let the gray of dusk whisk us away into safety
Let the stars of night wrap around us
Let us go!
(Nurse starts to run away from the servants, but more enter on opposite side.)
Servant: You can come quickly
That is best to avoid injury
Or you can fight
For you cannot run, you cannot hide
And in that way, dying is your plight
Nurse: O heartless saint, you cruel benefactors, you double-edged love!  See, see, why do I even live?  What is my purpose?
Servant: Come and you shall have a purpose.
Friar: Yes, yes, to die!  Run, Nurse, maybe you can flee.
Nurse: Go I shall not if in danger stay you!
Friar: One must survive!  One must live!
Nurse: It will not be me.
Friar: Nor me, so go!
Nurse: Please, I don’t want–
Servant: Charge!  Kill them both!
(Servants charge the Nurse and the Friar.)
Friar: Please…go.
(Nurse hesitates, then runs backstage.  Two servants go after her.)
Servant: That was noble, Friar, very noble.
Friar: Thank you, friend.
(The Friar pulls out a short sword and slays the nearest servant.)
Servant: Now I kill you without further delay.  You know, I hate to kill a man of my own house, but alas, it is my duty.
Friar: Now we clash, and may the loser’s blood spill upon the ground, forever staining this spot as a reminder of how foolish this escapade is.
Servant: Your words mean nothing, but let me fight before they do ring true.
(They fight.  The Friar falls.)
Friar: Before…before I go, remember this, friend.  You, you, you have no personal grudge against the Capulets.  ‘tis all…’tis all a mindless charade…
(Friar dies.  Exit all servants except the Friar’s killer.)
Servant: Alas, what blood hath my deadly sword spilled?
(Kneels down next to the Friar’s body.)
I understand now, friend, I understand!
(Places his sword over the Friar and exits.)

I am not going to write a blog related to thanksgiving, for several reasons.

1. Though it’s a great holiday and I love seeing my family, I’ve had to write what I’m thankful for since like first grade, and frankly, I’m tired of it. It’s always the same thing: “friends, family, LIFE, food, etc.” And perhaps this is true, but what’s the point of writing a thousand journals about the same thing? Aren’t we taught that we are all unique? And if we’re all unique, then why do we stress over finding common interests? Is it because we just want one thing, one tiny aspect of ourselves, to tether us to one another? Do we really feel that lost?
2. As the first point says, I’m tired of writing stuff because I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE. I can’t be original in a Thanksgiving blog. I really don’t have that many humorous anecdotes. And that’s another thing. Where do comedians get all these anecdotes? Where does anyone get their anecdotes? I like to think I live a fairly standard life, I hang out with friends, I do interesting things, and yet when it comes my time at retreat to tell my “Funniest memory liiike everrr” I’m simply lost for words.
3. I would rather focus on more important things, like my music. I wrote a few new songs today and yesterday, actually, so if you want, check one of them out here: http://sean.vox.com/library/post/would-you-rather-live-forever-or-never-die.html
4. I kind of forget what this list is for and I am too lazy to scroll up, so…yeah.

Anyway, nothing too new has happened. I still have a myriad of essays to write for school, I still have a pessimistic view on society and education which is still not getting me anywhere, I still lack motivation, I still don’t know what my future holds at all, and I still don’t care.

This may be cliche, but my family and (some of) my friends are more important to me than getting really rich and still being unhappy. Cause it’s true that money doesn’t change our state of mind.

I saw it.  Now before you start mocking me (Which I totally understand…I, after all, used to be a mocker), understand that I saw it only because the only other option was bowling, and the bowling alley was closed.

Moving onto the movie…I enjoyed it!  Again, before you mock me, know that my reaction is still somewhat unclear.  I don’t know if I loved it because of the movie itself, or because the people in it were beautiful and cool.  I mean, the scene with Edward and his sunglasses…my shriek of joy was only slightly exaggerated.  And then when he saves Bella from those molestor people…he was just soo cool.  Pretty much all the good guys were good looking too, which doesn’t hurt.

Of course, the storyline was pretty standard romance.  Just add in vampires to the plot, and you have Twilight.  The funny thing is vampires aren’t even the main point.  It’s more a love story than a vampire story.  And the first half, much of the acting/script is just terrible.  It’s awkward and funny.  But at one point I realized that I was really into the storyline.  It’s not the actors fault they were given stupid lines like “you are my own personal brand of heroin.”

Overall, though, I acknowledge the fact that I have betrayed my gender, but it’s a great movie.

Though this may be triggered somewhat by my recent incapability to get A’s, I have been thinking quite a bit about how pointless our education system is.  It sounds cliche, and I realize this, but most of what we learn is not important.  Some people counter this by saying that school teaches us “how to learn” and proves that we can learn.  Sure, that’s great, and that’s completely true.

But what I’m saying is why should this even matter?  See, the problem is that we’re so grounded in our upward bound capitalistic mindset that we never stop to think about where we are.  It’s always about improvement.  The second we win something, we’re told we could be better.  We win to advance.  We advance to win.  When does this cycle end?  It ends when we realize that we are not truly advancing.  We are staying in the same spot that we began our life, maybe a few feet to the left or right.  We’re still thinking the same, we have the same perspective (I’m assuming, since our perspective hardly ever changes).  So truly, WHAT HAVE WE GAINED?

The answer is nothing.  We have gained nothing.  Sure, we have some more cloth paper in our pocket, but can we eat that?  No, you say, but you can buy food and shelter with it.

We must regress.  We must devolve.  I say this not because I WANT to, not because it would be EASY for me, but because we SHOULD.   Let me tell you why:

If we continue our steady process of evolution and development, we will all be living in some translucent, never ending dream.  We’ll be lonely and miserable, and we’ll take synthetic drugs to wash away the pain.  And we can only progress so much.

Manifest destiny had an end.  That end came when we spread out across the whole continent.  What was once infinite became easy to cross.  We relocate, we move, thousands of miles, we think nothing of it.  Why is this?  Because it became the status quo.  Just as living underwater, just as living in space, would become the norm.  And we would continue.  And we would die.   Nothing would change.  We would still be unhappy.

Why do we need to progress?  Just because it’s human nature?  Why do we have to disobey certain aspects of human nature and yet follow other parts?  Is there some conspiracy?  Obviously not, but there is an issue of contradiction.

It will not be easy to devolve our society.  I don’t know if I could do it.  But we don’t do it cause it’s easy, we do it so those that come after us will be happy.  Because they’ll live in ignorance of something better.  Progress will be frowned upon.  We’ll live in self-replenishing societies.  And sure, maybe the soil will deplete itself after a while, but by that time, there will be worse problems.  All life will die anyway once the nutrients leave.  So that’s completely futile to fight.

I urge all readers (not that anyone reads this) to take note of this: perhaps our regression shall not last forever, but it creates content people.  And that’s the best we can hope for.

Scene Two

(Enter Nurse with Lady Capulet.)

Lady Capulet: ‘Tis all your fault, woman!  You planted those foolish ideas in my lovely daughter’s head, and that’s why she’s dead now.  Worst of all, the handsome Tybalt was killed for the same reason.
Nurse: Leave me alone, you unfaithful fool!  You are so blind!  Your eyes look into the sun but never to the sky, the truth.  ‘Tis you that disrupted this family that I have been serving for generations.  You loved your nephew more than your husband, more than your daughter.  Shame on you, shame on you!
Lady Capulet: How…how dare you defile my name like so?  How dare you have the nerve to insult me when you are the reason my Tybalt is dead?  Dead, I cry!  I fear I can never stop mourning him…
Nurse: Never once did you care about your daughter.  Not once–
Lady Capulet: Silence, Nurse!  How you say such a thing is beyond my grasp!  She was an ungrateful spoiled brat.  I gave her money, I threw parties for her, I found her Paris, a rich, suitable husband for her.  But no, she threw it all away for that Montague.  And why, you ask?  Why would she do such a thing?  Because of you, you!
Nurse: You know nothing about love and concern, nothing about actually caring for someone!  She is her own person, she should be able to love whoever she chooses.
Lady Capulet: NO!  No, she shouldn’t!  That’s wrong!  I married my husband, and I did not, do not, love him, but I had to.  Juliet should have had to do the same thing.
Nurse: See, see, you do not care, you do not even know how old she was.  You are no mother, you are just Tybalt’s plaything.
(Lady Capulet slaps the Nurse.)
Lady Capulet: Again, again, you slander the name of my dearest love!  Fine, out with it I will!  I loved Tybalt, I loved him more than I love my husband.
Nurse: You ask me how dare I insult you?  How dare you, how dare you say that, how dare you hit me like so?
(Nurse pushes Lady Capulet, who falls heavily.  Nurse exits.  Enter two servants.)
Servant one: My lady, my lady are you all right?
Servant two: Are you hurt, how bad is it, my lady?
Lady Capulet: Stop milling about like useless twigs and be of some service!  Fetch me my husband, I need consolation and…consultation.
(Servant two exits.)
Servant: What, I pray, do you require consultation for?
Lady Capulet: Quiet!  An evil is rising abroad
Beware of every corner, beware of every person
Only I can stop it, only I can save you
There, behind you!
(Servant whirls around.  There is no one there.)
Trust me, and you will go far, my servant.
Doubt me, and you will be…disposed of.
Do you know who the evil is?
Servant: Who, my lady?
Lady Capulet: ‘Tis the Nurse and that Friar
Together they conspire
Together they work to sow evil
To cause a great upheaval
Go near them not, hear them not
Only bad things do they bring
(Lady Capulet leans in closer to the servant.)
Lady Capulet: But if you kill them, and this you will
There are rewards for your excellent skill
Be cautious, be careful, be wary
Your fellow servant, I fear, is with the enemy
Now go, he returns!
(Servant exits as servant two enters.  Servant stares at other servant strangely, as if he has been betrayed.)
Servant two: Your husband is on is way, madam.
Lady Capulet: Good, good, now listen closely.  There is a great evil here caused by our very own Nurse and the Montagues.  You fellow servant, the one that just left, I think that he is helping them.  Be careful, very careful.  Trust only me.  Now go, my husband is coming.
(Exit servant two.  Enter Capulet.)
Capulet: My lovely wife, what is troubling you?  The only words your servant could give were that you needed consolation.
Lady Capulet: Yes, my dear husband, yes, I do.  Worry plagues my soul.  I fear that the Nurse hath betrayed us.  Does thou not receive this image from her?
Capulet: Certainly, her manner has certainly not been forthcoming in the past few days.  Until now, I have naturally assumed that it was just her particular way of mourning over our poor…poor daughter.
(Capulet’s voice cracks when he mentions Juliet.)
Lady Capulet: Ah, pull yourself together, old man; with the loss of a daughter we lost a burden.  Nothing but trouble could she possibly cause.
Capulet: But she was my star, my pride and joy, and I wanted to bottle her up inside the glass vase of my love, but the water inside could only push her up and out.  All I wanted was her happiness, because it was that singular smile on her angelic face that bestowed joy upon me.
Lady Capulet: Surely, you jest!  This angelic face you speak of was tainted with the hint of malice and Lucifer’s work.
Capulet: I care not what you say; my heart will never recover from her loss.
Lady Capulet: But alas, let us not deviate from my point.  What actions must we take against the Nurse, for that is what it is, it is a must, not a would or could or should, it is a must, I say!
Capulet: Perhaps we could relieve her and all of her future generations to come from serving our family.
(Lady Capulet scoffs.)
Lady Capulet: Are you insane, old man
Not benign is our justice hand
We do not seek to be kind
Revenge is what we need, the question there is time
Shall she die by poison, or shall she die by knife
And then there is the Friar
Who shall die by fire
I want to see his skin
Burn into sin
Capulet: Calm must you seek, my wife!  Never does blind vengeance lead us to victory!  Nay, nay, we must discuss this reasonably, rationally, and discern what course we should take, for killing another Montague could only cause more problems.
Lady Capulet: Very well, very well, I shall think about this.  Thank you, old man, you have surely saved me from much humiliation.  You may go.
Capulet: I shall go when I please, and when I please is now.
(Exit Capulet.)
Lady Capulet: That’s another one I shall have to dispose of.  And then it’ll just be me, and I can raise my second child by myself.
(Exit Lady Capulet.)

Ok so for morality, we have this assignment where we have to go without technology for four hours.  Obviously, I have forgone the assignment, seeing as I am typing on my computer right now and listening to music.  This is for a very specific reason: I am afraid of getting hurt further from this assignment.

Since I had nothing to do for four hours (except homework, which if you know me, you’d know I don’t like to do in the middle of the day), I decided to bike into town.  I was just going to enjoy myself for a little while, bike around the country, maybe pick up some money at the ATM.  Anyway, I didn’t get farther than my driveway.  I was biking with no hands, since I was putting my wallet into my pocket.  Unfortunately, there is a rather large bump at the end of my driveway where it changes into gravel.  I was unprepared for the bump, and the bike skidded.  I flew off.  I attempted to right myself in mid air, but alas, it was too late.  The bike caught underneath my foot and I smashed into the ground.  I scraped my knees along the ground for several yards, and then my head hit the ground.  Cursing, I kept moving, trying to ignore the pain.  Which was impossible.

Thus, I went inside, took a shower, washed off the blood, realized the blood would keep coming, put on some neosporne, and then some bandaids.  Now I am sitting at my computer with pain in my leg.  Not fun.

I suppose this is ironic because for once, I was attempting to get out and just spend some time by myself, getting exercise, and the one time I do this meditative act, I hurt myself.

Does irony always have to be painful?

It was amazing.  Last night I was in the city with nothing to do, and then my brother’s wife came down with a sickness and couldn’t go to the concert.  I got her ticket and got to go!!

It took place in the Grand Regency Ballroom (or whatever it’s called) in the city, and it was, as I said, amazing.  The performance style, music, and set design was all great.  The opening band was mediocre.  Noise rock requires a certain acquisition. I enjoyed it, many didn’t.

But Of Montreal itself was great.  They played all of Skeletal Lamping, some of Hissing Fauna, some of Sunlandic Twins, and more.  They even covered Nirvana.  Everyone in the crowd was really into it, and I was able to get into the front row.  I got some great pictures on my phone.  Kevin Barnes is quite the stage presence (as is the rest of the band).  He changed costumes about ten times throughout the show, going from a  white, feather vest to nothing but his golden/red underwear.  Later, he wrapped himself in toilet paper or paper mache (I’m not sure what it was).

In addition, the songs themselves were really well performed.  Kevin Barnes always amazes me with his incredible vocal range.

I’m sitting in my brother’s basement right now.  I’m in his house at San Francisco on a Friday night, but it’s really not that bad.  I only have 23 (23!!!!) minutes left before the power runs out, but it’s not that bad.  I’ll survive.  He has a charger upstairs…hopefully.  Anyway the point is that I am still blogging on his considerably nicer than mine laptop.  The post is called city of broken lights on a whim.  Don’t question it.  Partly because the Justin Timberlake song on his computer mentions flashing lights, which makes me think of the song “flashing lights,” which makes me think of the song “city of blinding lights.”  So I changed it.  Clever, right?  No.  Not clever.  Just really bored.All right, well I’ll have to wrap up this post soon, since I’m runnin’ out of battery life.  Storytime.The decrepit car soared above the young boy’s head and he sang a song of loneliness to himself.  The man felt the water pressing around his ears but he was already dead.  Dead inside because his soul was a black hole.  The same with the woman who cried alone in her car wishing her husband would calm down.  But until then she would have to wait outside.  How do these people matter, you ask?  How do these people relate to each other?  What is their purpose…Who knows?  But to them, they are the most important people in the world.  Even they don’t know their purpose, though.  Because we are all lost and hopeless.  We will never be found.  Because we are forgotten by the ones who were once searching.  The searchlights continue to flash in the forests of our minds, but they have lost their motive.  They are not truly looking for us.  And the gods up there in their castles don’t have the time to search for us, because their lost too.The Lost Generation of the 20th century wasn’t truly lost.  We are the lost ones.  We overindulge ourselves on the media and then we throw it up the next morning.  We vomit our loneliness and cry tears of brokenness.  So truly it is the city of broken lights.  These searchlights have ceased their search.  They are broken, just like us.  Broken Knights.  Like Holden Lightfoot.  But at least he tried.  We’re just meandering across golden meadows.  The only problem is when we open our eyes, we see the disaster we’ve created, the world we’re really living in.And it’s no golden meadow.  For gold is broken and lost too.