A Convenient Lie

YOU ARE ME AND I AM YOU

wash your face in the sink, get a bottle of ink
tie the shoes on your feet, put your gun in your teeth
write a goodbye note, take some pills for your throat
no one has to know, you’re afraid to go

desert the country, desert the world
desert your parents, desert your girl
you can leave it behind, slip away in the night
you can leave it behind you, or turn and fight

underneath the layers
you don’t know what to say
underneath the layers
you begin to fade
and you are me and I am you
and I am the devil and the devil is the truth
so love me, above me

you can grind your teeth and never speak
you can raise your fist but only this
you can shut up about it, you can just plain shout it
you can play it again, with nothing to gain
so love me
above me

DREAM

in my dream, I run from a crowd, of robots
as I tire, they gain strength, like leeches, in a fire
their happy faces, their joyous voices, all programmed, and so are you
the only real thing is me, and even then, I’m still a dream
cause you and I, alone in the stars, the water, the wishing coins

and we are all dreams, on a staircase, built by thoughts
a world, built by robots
and we are all one, in a land that’s torn apart
though our hands can’t touch with our broken hearts

existence precedes us, our essence needs us, but our minds are full and tired
religion it beats us, just plain defeats us, throwing us into the fire
stringing a crossbow, forget that we lost both, our saviors, shot in the head
darkness embraces us, sadness it faces us, our families, gone now they’re dead

THE COWARD/FAILED DREAMS

Water falling down like burnt-out dreams, that metallic taste as they slip away
hold it in my hand for a moment now, held it in my hand a moment ago, oh, no
dried out landscapes of fantasies, they haunt my dreams
poor girl wants her house back
your girl wants her life back
they say, you can’t erase the bad
they say, you can’t erase the past

falling back down I’m such a coward, the haze all around it turns so sour
Now I see what I missed before, as blood seeps down to the floor
I had my chance and I missed it then, and as tears fall down she begins to sing
underneath it all I was a good man, but the signal came I turned and ran
falling back down I’m such a coward, my night grows darker by the hour

So basically this is a song that I started yesterday.  I was writing a little about how “stupid” our youth is.  What I mean by this is that we are given access to tons of information, and so we take advantage of that access.  In this way, the Internet is great.  It opens up doors of information.  However, the problem with this is we never look past the surface.  It’s like a kind of superficial intelligence.  SI.  We know a little about lots of subjects, enough to sound smart and to embellish our knowledge with our own imagination, but not enough to actually be of use.  In addition, we get used to isntant information.  We don’t read books anymore because we have to analyze them.  I am guilty of this too.  Anyway, here is the song lyrics.  Enjoy and speculate on their meaning.  The title of “Mr Gray” is still somewhat ambiguous to me, but I’m sure if this song became famous someone would find the “true meaning” behind it.  And then give that info to everyone else.  Instant accesss.  There we go again.

shying away from the things I have to do
lying my way through the wings I got from you
we are a youth of brilliance
but the truth is our resilience

we’re paper thin we crack like glass
we cut our skin get heart attacks
we dive on in we all jump back
commit sins, they’re in the past

rationalize, nationalize our feelings
justify, testify while kneeling

I am Mr. Gray
and we have missed our day
I am Mr. Gray
and we have lost our way

and we can’t stop
unless you kill us off

i cannot remember anything from behind the time I began to sing
and the mouth opened up and swallowed you whole into the hole you fell the black black blue
cursory stems lacerating words and metal knobs stuffed into the wood
and the yellow teeth shining from the sky lining from the sky you fell I always knew
it was you again

newspaper stands hear about the truth distorted to the side blaming all the youth
and the whale slipped behind and the years fell back and you rode that icy mountaintop into the white
encore encore the crowd cries aloud but the man on the stage he drowns them all out
and his golden eyes breaking to the never taking from the ever I’m bored not whored the night
its my friend

CHORUS
no, they’re all gone
there’s no sunlight any more
no happiness to hold
no place to call your home
no face to call your own
no happiness to hold

wracking my brain just to play it again attacking the train just to stay in the lane
killing the cells in their holding pens truth be told the angel was sent to you
joking around like a flat piece of paper curling to the sides when the wind blows past her
arcing in a circle and barking in a whirl I can do it again but I’ll smash it apart in two
I’m a hammer

CHORUS
no, they’re all gone
there’s no sunlight any more
no happiness to hold
no place to call your home
no face to call your own
no happiness to hold

now is the time of east
blowing our minds we feast
we tightly clasp our doves
to tell them what we love

forget who we are
lost amidst these cars
forget who we are
forget who we are

here’s to the future
here’s to denial
here’s to corruption
here’s to mortality

here’s to the future
here’s to the past
here’s to our memories
they’re all we have left

here’s to the future
here’s to forgetting
who we used to be
here’s to mortality

say you always won, but you’re always gone
say you weigh a ton, but you always nod
your head to the right, your place we will fight
into the night, into your arms
don’t do no slight, don’t do no harm
your modeling in my eyes

my brain is clicking while your life is slipping and I am wishing we could still be kissing
spin your web get out of bed extend your legs and then she said
you focus on the rhyme and not the meter line, you run out of time and you’re waiting for a sign
from above to show you love but love is dead it’s in your head
these things she said they broke my mind she was so kind her touch benign
your dreams are shattered they lay in tatters across the floor across the board
a bloody room all slogged with fumes of death and fear she licks my tears
soothsayers truth slayers newspapers tooth layers
grown out of clothes now you’ve flown out you’re broke now
the window’s open you can fly back in but you must atone for your sins

say you always won, but you’re always gone
say you weigh a ton, but you always nod
your head to the right, your place we will fight
into the night, into your arms
don’t do no slight, don’t do no harm
your modeling in my eyes

unlock the cage please call your page put forth your pay you’re out today
beneath your breath I hear you mutter words of death that make me stutter
I’m always nervous around your past remember your service of the last
searching ever for new beats running to escape the heat
you’ve got me tricked you’ve got me fooled you were sick and I never knew
now I watch your still form die now I hear your final sigh
I know there was another guy, and yet I wish I still could cry

I never got to talk to you, I never got to say I’m sorry
for all the things I never did
but I know what it means now, to be human
and I know what it means now, to enlighten
all the moves I never made, all the words I couldn’t say
building up inside of me, I regret my never deeds

say you always won, but you’re always gone
say you weigh a ton, but you always nod
your head to the right, your place we will fight
into the night, into your arms
don’t do no slight, don’t do no harm
your modeling in my eyes

GHOSTS 

somewhere forgotten, somewhere lonely
their ghosts begotten, from their barren lives
they try to hold on, to the strings of their masters
because they realize, it’s all they have left

as thoughts burn in pastures, the silver liquid of our lives
jumbled up just like children’s toys, only the ghosts will survive
and even most of them will cry
in the waves of insanity, the craving of humanity
we will carve our names in stone, even though we’ll live alone

we will plunge our icy hearts, we will tear our lives apart
just to see the product, just to see the ends
only ghosts will survive
and even most of them will cry

              Rain

rain is like the ocean but in the air
pain is in motion but never there
the sadness inside me, you are the cure
my antidepressant, oh so pure

pulling away carried and carted
sullying the day harried and martyred
rain is like the ocean but in the air
you can blame the lotion but it’s still your hair

the G O D he’s in the sky, he’s in our minds, taking up our time
the pink police they’re all around, look down at the ground don’t make a sound
it’s G D P serving up our product, taking money from our wallet, go get em boys
the economy let’s hope it’s domestic, don’t want a disturbance

don’t want to disturb us, when we’re seriously disturbed
never know behind closed doors, the never now, the clever cow
wish I could take back the time before you crossed that yellow line
before cancer ate away your mind before it burned a solid hole in the sky
now it’s come down to a solid lie baby it’s my redemption can’t lose my chance again
this time it’s real like a movie reel watching it play twenty times in my head until your dead
your dead to me alive only in thoughts I’ll bring you back make you live just trust in me
but trust is hard when you’re staring back through a cage of bars see me glaring back
could’ve saved you then I had better things way back when I had golden wings

CHORUS
what’s your name, are you sane, (tell me)
who are you, who are you
the never now, the present tense
who are you, who are you really

searching behind what I once tried to lock I would burst on in but I’m afraid to knock
living ever watchful in a cloud of doubt, always pondering what life’s about
I wish I had done it when the haze set in but now it’s gone now it’s broken
it’s shattered like the mirror I saw a long long time ago I held it in my hand but it slipped on through
the grains of sand cutting through the flesh of dying aquatic the maze of blood it’s all chaotic
automatic dogma man equals god if he eats the apple but I’m allergic to fructose so I dive on in
the benzene rings a noose to my tender neck just wanna lie down my head and begin my rest
the truth is this we’re already dead so stop debating and cut off my head
I want to save you once again but like before I waited too long and now my chance is gone
and I’m just regretting everything I ever did

CHORUS
what’s your name, are you sane, (tell me)
who are you, who are you
the never now, the present tense
who are you, who are you really

wandering through the darkness, I think I’ve found my love